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October 8, 2009 / zanzi

If I Were to Die Tonight

I walk across the desert sands

The night lends them its cool

Desolated and forsaken they lie;

Tanned but still numb freezing hands

Tools that have mastered every tool

Will work another day to help me by…

To help me live or to help me die?

I roam around to remote lands

They know now I am no fool

And need my help, my skillful hand and eye;

They call my height malfunctioned glands

(Kids pay for me to do tricks as a rule

And the extra buck does help to get me by)…

To help me live or to help me die?

I lay down with my blanket below

And gaze into the black-blue sky

As if the swirling mists would now reply

The silence that follows seems to know

An answer which I am supposed to give

Will I die or do I yearn to live?

Soon the sun will rise and drive

Away the cold comfort of night

Space infinite as far as goes my sight

And bravely once more I will strive

To live up to the call of fate

Until I think again some evening late:

If I were to die tonight

In total freedom where I might

Be spotted come the morning light

Or ever be lost to human sight,

Where the sun is free to scorch me

And the sands to slowly torch me

The night air chill to lie upon me

And all else to die upon me,

Would this body be much changed

Or would it be just rearranged

As stone which once was soil before

Dead plant matter that was much more?

In each living being are

The bodies of its own past selves

In each each particle of each star

One book containing all the shelves.

So should I live or should I die

Is not a question any more

For it is a much bigger I

Than I had suspected before.

All else now gone the truth remains

And as such tells me but one thing:

Before from flying it refrains

The hummingbird must still its wing.

And as I muse away the last

Of what has been a pleasant ponder

I am surprised the night is past

The sun stops infinity yonder.

So up on my feet all eight feet of me

And bundle on back I trudge as before

To where by logic I am already

To pick up some talk and then think some more.

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